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| something to think about.
(of course, i'm writing on my xanga now. Now that i'm exhausted and have tons of readings piled up....
funny thing blogs are.)
maybe it's a good sign that nobody blogs anymore...
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| orfear of death.
but what's death? maybe we all have our own death.
fear to an end to existence. an end. an anti-climactic, unfulfilled, meaningless sudden book-slamming-shut. even to many that seem to despise waking up and having to breath, for some reason, death doesn't seem appealing.
WHY?
for some, death may mean separation. complete and forever separation, alienation, isolation.
but what's so great about living?
maybe it's like path dependency or the law of motion... we were born and all we've ever known is this. life. whatever that means. so we're unwilling or unable due to kinetic motion and historical precedent to do anything but live. and of course, to continue living in the same manner that we always have.
But when you think about it.. how crazy is that? our purpose in life, or to rephrase it in more concrete terms, our reason for living right now is simply that we were alive yesterday and we woke up breathing this morning. And until that stops happening... we'll keep on living. because life keeps happening to us whether or not we ask it to. honestly speaking, i think this is the most accurate reflection of what most of our so-called living has consisted of.
if this is life (or at least, a large majority of it), if this is life.. then to me,
to live is death.
and fear of physical death is simply a fear of an unknown. in reality, the smell of death wreaked in the delivery room.. our birth into this world was the nascence of our death. learning to die. die slowly.
and now? ask yourself. what life is left in us?
overwhelming proof is abounding in every facet of our existence and history. from the fact that the human race as a whole has done nothing but harm--consuming, destroying, exploiting, raping... everything. from natural resources to fellow humans to our very own selves. why?
without being normative, it's just an observable fact about human existence. to survive we must kill--whether it be animals or vegetables. and yes, this is characteristic of any animal but the point at which we diverge, and tragically so, is when you consider what returns we give back to the ecosystem. smog? and you think of our efforts to preserve forests and save the animals, but from whom?! none other than ourselves. we are our own worst enemy.
so, thus we've talked of death for quite a while.. and now, i'm afraid i may have depressed you. though it sucks to feel sad and hopeless, i ask you to dwell in that for a moment and ask yourself for a very tangible and specific answer to why you may feel that way. shame? hopelessness?
i'm so thankful to God for these feelings. and for anger. they each function in such important ways. we ought not to condemn these "negative" feelings. but neither should we accept them conclusively to eventually dissolve into formless nothingness. when we feel anger, it's probably because someone has violated us in some way and instead of letting the feeling and situation disapparate, i think we should correct it.
life is hope. life is change. life is freedom from our past, empowerment beyond our limitations, and there is no room for fear. (unless you fear God, that makes sense because He's the alpha and the omega, the taichi/wuchi with personhood [3 personhoods to be exact]) you see, death isn't the bad guy here. fear is. fear and hopelessness. (i'm pretty sure that i'm getting something wrong here, because out of faith, hope, and love.. Love is said to be the most important, but i'm not able to conceptualize that right now. hear me out. then help me out) so, fear is this canneiving devil that manipulates death's PR to appear to us like the ultimate evil. meanwhile, it's working in and around us to an extent where we've already died, yet "alive" because fear has us enslaved. so that we can't even feel the liberation of physical death. geez.
if you haven't noticed:
To me, the common perceivable reality of life and existence ain't all that in and of itself. yes, there's inherent value and there's no justification for disrespecting someone else's life or our own, but mind you, the life we live isn't true life. for most of us, that is. if this is life, what's the point? we eat, poop, and die. maybe we'll be lucky enough to know a shadow of love whether it's from family, friends, or lovers, but.. these lucky fools are also most likely to know that co-existing pain and suffering of the reality of our fragemented love, life, self, and existence. tho i believe it's worth the knowing.
anyways, here's where my train of though takes a turn: we begin with the historic fact that Jesus lived, lived an extra-ordinary life, claimed to be God, and died.
1. the tomb is empty
2. Jesus resurrected
3. the power of His resurrection extends to those who claim it in faith and hope of this God
"If there is no is resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has been raised, our preaching is useless and so is [our] faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, [our] faith is futile; [we] are still in [our] sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all the others." 1 Corinthians 15:12-19
i'm sorry to leave you in such haste after leading you all this way. yeah.. but leave any comments, rebukes, corrections, suggestions, links, thoughts, reflections.. any sort of dialogue would be nice. i like dialogue.
happy Easter. i love you in the Lord. and i pray we all seek moreso daily to know Christ, the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering.
let's embrace suffering! YESSSSS!
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| MPP, MSW, GRE, JD, LSAT,
measuring myself, surveying my options
i mushroomed.
too large and too puffy to see straight
and POP!
 glad to be back. i hope i can stay here longer this time...
Padre nuestro que estas en el cielo,
sanctificado sea tu nombre.
YOUR Kingdom come, YOUR will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
오늘날 우리에게 일용한 양식을 주옵시고,
forgive us our sins as we forgive the sins of others
no nos dejas caer en la tentacion
y libranos del maligno
por TUYO es el reino, el poder, y la gloria por todos los siglos
amen.
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